Zero Waste Hair Removal: Sugaring

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Zero Waste Hair Removal: Sugaring


Everyone knows safety razor shaving is the Jennifer Lawrence of plastic free switches- the zero waste community's freaking sweetheart, smart and sexy and a little bit dangerous (years of presenting mercurial sales associates bulk goods in my own bags colored my perception of what constitutes "danger"). I've been a staunch proponent for years, doggedly packing surgical steel blades in carry-on luggage. But something changed this summer- namely, I ripped the front of my leg open climbing a fence, leaving several small scabs I kept shaving over. Trying to avoid them yielded prickly results. A profusion of insect bites, collected while living in a three story open air treehouse in the middle of a permaculture farm, gave me legs like bitter gourds, rendering me unable to shave entirely. Besides, after fifteen years, I'm getting tired of shaving. I have so little time these days (like, I don't even know who Taylor Swift is dating rn, that's how busy I am), I don't want to spend it fighting a Sisyphean battle against body hair. 

Enter sugaring. You know that feeling when you decide to upgrade from Ikea furniture to ABC Carpet & Home? Sugaring is the ABC Carpet & Home of hair removal, only affordable and accessible (no strips needed and everybody has the three basic ingredients necessary for a good paste... actually this metaphor does not hold up, that's pretty much the opposite of ABC). I can't believe I wasted so many of my pretty years shaving! For some reason I thought sugaring was not good for thick or coarse hair, but it removes the most stubborn hairs like a dream. I tried DIY Oriental cire wax once, years ago, but I didn't use a great recipe (it had weird extra stuff in it, like xanthan gum), and while I loved the results- it doesn't hurt, because it doesn't pull the skin- my legs and Brazilian took all day. I switched to Studio Habeas Corpus' method (recipe here) and within two batches I was hooked. Now I can sugar my entire body in an hour and a half, and the hair loss appears to be permanent in certain unmentionable areas. 

What nobody tells you is that hair- replete with follicles- encased in sugar is about as beautiful a sight as insects fully preserved in amber. Then there's the smoothness. I found I kept staring at my underarms, because I never knew they could look so good. I have skin like a baby again! And sugaring is so addictive. I have to restrain myself from ripping out too much, so satisfying are the results. No ingrowns, no bumps, no breakouts or irritated skin after. At first little dots of blood would appear when I ripped hair out by the root, but this doesn't happen anymore. Some people put their hands immediately over each sugared area to lessen pain. I don't bother. It's really not painful at all (even if it were, I love to suffer). If you have sensitive skin, dusting the area with cornstarch or baby powder first apparently eases discomfort. 

There is a learning curve. In the beginning a friend who I shall call Rory was like "No human should ever have to do this," and I agreed. It can be a very dehumanizing experience, as you contort your body in positions only cats should be able to do (like you know how they put their legs behind their head when they groom themselves? That's what you'll do when you try a DIY Brazilian). And you can't do it in the bathroom after the shower, or if it's too humid or if your skin is even slightly wet. But under optimized conditions, it's so gratifying. Once you experience two weeks of utter smoothness- hair grows back finer, and skin looks great afterward too- you'll find yourself eagerly anticipating your next at home sugaring session. You won't need deodorant after either, just a little coconut oil to moisturize. I've been trying to reduce my baking soda usage for ages, and this is the perfect renewable solution.

I used cheap white sugar and reverse osmosis water, working in small sections for underarms and Brazilian, but large swathes for legs. I also dump the lemon juice in at the same time as all the other ingredients now and no longer measure, but it's probably best to do as I say, not as I do. Throw the resulting wax in your compost (not your vermicompost, because sugar ants will eat the worms), wash your materials with warm water and Castile soap, and dump the dishwater in your garden after. I actually did this in my little garden in Puerto Escondido because I forgot my safety razor blade and there were no stores nearby and without electricity to entertain myself I was like, "Eh, I have nothing better to do, may as well try my hand at some ancient Oriental dark arts."

Paris to Go


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