Last Week, This Week: Goalposts and Resolutions and Jump-Starts

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Last Week, This Week: Goalposts and Resolutions and Jump-Starts










I woke with a very welcome resolve this morning.  For some reason, that's been lacking lately. I've been busy enough: last week, I engaged social media to support my sister's activism and, with my husband, enjoyed four days with our Nine-year-old granddaughter and then hosted a sleepover for a Five-year-old g'daughter and her Three-year-old brother (that's a quick sketch of them, below -- they can sit at the table drawing and singing for such a long time, quite contentedly -- unfortunately, they seem incapable of holding any position for longer than the time it takes to get a few pencil lines drawn!).

But I used that busy-ness as an excuse or reason to let other priorities slide. Combined with the pall of smoke we've been living under -- and the accompanying health dangers of the very poor air quality -- I didn't manage to get myself to the gym once last week.

We did get out on our bikes a few times, however. . .

And I managed a few sketches during the week, some of them--as above--the "homework" for an online course I'm following (Stephanie Bower's Perspective for Sketchers).

I even made a batch of sourdough bread -- rosemary-olive, something I've been wanting to try for a while. . . (and then decided I'd better show you the progress I've made in getting the bread onto a piece of watercolour paper (see photo at the bottom of this post) -- that loaf was disappearing quickly!)
Oh, and there was some light reading and too much viewing of Offspring--considerable couch time, in other words.

None of which sounds particularly lazy, I can see as I write this. None of this sounds like someone who's stepped a bit too close to the swamp, the "slough of despond." There are weeks when this activity would feel entirely sufficient, when I'd feel quite pleased with myself, content. . .

But for me, last week, these activities were most notable for either providing their own momentum (as, most obviously, the grandkids!) or requiring very little start-up energy for me (building the levain for the bread -- 25grams sourdough starter, 70 grams water, 70 grams flour, stir together in jar, leave on counter overnight). They jump-started my own weak battery and, once in motion, continued to charge it up (whether or not you're just going through the motions at start-up, the tactile/kinaesthetic aspects of bread-making, never mind the smell, nourishes the spirit long before the bread is baked and cooled enough to nourish the body).

For me, last week, these were not activities that required much resolve at all, and I will admit that I was hard on myself for not mustering resolve. A whole week without working out; a week without adding significantly to my memoir project; a week when the blog writing seemed lacklustre, merely reportorial. 

But then yesterday, reading my friend Lisa's post announcing the completion of the "Rough First Draft All Changes Merged" of her novel (a novel! an entire book!), I found this advice for those of us who might be daunted, temporarily at least, by some of our larger goals or expectations or demands:
move the goalposts towards you.

This whole post today is a retrospective moving of my goalposts towards myself.  Closer goalposts might look like "Make bread, play with grandkids, bike with husband, sketch."  If so, then hey! I've scored a few times. . .

And hollering a "Woot-woot" or two might just fortify my resolve to get back to those more challenging priorities.

 I haven't quite got at what I wanted to when I began writing this (something more existential, frankly, which would probably have wearied you anyway, something about our/my age, about the post-retirement need to supply my own purpose, declare my own worth, organize my own days, in the absence of job description and paycheque). But I have got myself to the gym this morning, and I've written this post, and I'm determined to add another 500 words to my long-form project before the day's over.  (also resolving that, should I not manage that, I'll shift my goalposts a bit closer -- some days, just opening the Word .doc file counts. . . .)



There you go, then. That's this week started. . . .Comments? Do you have days or weeks when you find it hard to muster resolve for priorities beyond the daily? Are you kind to yourself -- and how so -- at those times? Which are the activities that are toughest for you to move into when you're feeling low? And which are the ones that, once begun, help to charge your battery back to fuller strength? Finally, if this question of resolve and goals (and moving goalposts) resonates for you at all, how much is it affected by your retirement (or how do you anticipate retirement might affect it)?



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